This may be hard to do however I am going to continue to share the journey Frank started it is what he wanted......
I held my husband's hand until he took his last breathe. Wow something I said I would do however it was so very hard. This was something so very special for me however after I stepped away from him it began to destroy me. The nurse came from hospice to pronounce him and then call the funeral home to come pick him up. When the funeral home came to pick him up they asked me a very odd question. Did I want my husband's head covered when he left? I was a bit freaked out by this question and said no. They took my husband away and then family started to leave. I slept for about two hours and then had to go with my father in law to sit with the director to plan my husband's services. My husband wanted to be cremated which they say is "cheaper" and omg that is not true. What my husband wanted was simple however when all was said and done the total was just under $5,000.00. Make sure you invest in life insurance no matter how young you are. I am very glad I had my father-in-law with me as it was something that just seemed so surreal. I made sure my husband had everything he wanted and then went home. I do not even recall much after my father in law dropped me off it was as if I was in a daze. I did however sleep in my bed again for the first time. Today I went to the funeral home to drop off 3 Notre Dame Jersey's for him to wear. Why three? He never told me which one he wanted so I made sure he had all three I made sure he had his Notre Dame Visor as he wore it through much of his fight. I gave him his Notre Dame blanket as I did not want him to be cold. I dropped off the urns and the music my husband chose. While I was there I had decided to see my husband one last time and I was glad I did because the image of him once he passed was a really hard image. Today I saw him looking so peaceful. I put all my #FranksFight wristbands on his arm, gave him a kiss, fixed his hair, and then put my hand out took his arm and slapped my hand with his and said see you later. Some people may find that morbid however my husband was a jokester and we had the same sick sense of humor so for us that is quite hysterical Tonite I and a bunch of family members watched the UFC PPV and we have Gareth to thank as he offered to pay for it and did. It was so nice to do something my husband loved with a bunch of his family. I continue to read all comments however they are often hard to read and I have to stop and find something else to do. I appreciate all the comments and thank you all for them. They are hard to read because my husband was that great of a guy and I start to cry so I have to read them a little at a time. As always thank you for supporting our family. RIP BABE
Today the hospice nurse came and upped Frank's morphine to ensure he is comfortable. The social worker from the VNA also called to offer to come by however we declined since at this point I do everything and only need the nurses for his meds. Frank's dad brought him by a pineapple yesterday and I am happy to report after not eating for many days Frank was eating pineapple today. He also was himself in that his jokes have not stopped and he will tell you he is still fighting his ass off. We together wrote his obituary the other night so that is another thing done and off the list. There are many things people have to face when a loved one passes however Frank has made sure that I will have to decide nothing as everything has been decided together. Today is actually an ok day over here as Frank has been a bit of a jokester. If you knew Frank you would know that when he is in jokester mood it is a good day. He still does not leave his bed however he does not let that stop him from laughing and getting through the day. Thank you all for continuing to support us.
Today hospice was called and Frank was signed up for services. They dropped off some supplies and then the nurse came. She explained everything to us that we already knew as well as many things we did not know. One of the hardest moments was when she asked my husband "Do you want Wendy to call 911?" he said no and for me that hit a real hard note because although I knew it was going to happen to watch him sign a DNR at only 38 just kills me on the inside. I know it is the right thing because he has suffered way to long however it is a reality many can easily talk about however when coming face to face with it it brings things to a whole new level. Kasey came by and we got to talk and vent to each other and for me it was such a relief. She got to see her brother and talk a little to him and be at ease that she got to spend some time with him. I am just glad we have everything in place so that Frank has the comfort he wants and he is where he wants to be in his very own home. Thank you all for supporting us.
Today has not been a good day at all. Hubby got up and went to recliner for the nurse to change his needle and cartridge but was out of breathe just from the walk. She is calling the doctor as they believe he now needs oxygen. Frank and I had a brief conversation and have decided to call in hospice. Emotionally I am empty at this point. I cry without thought think that is from what I watch actually. Thank you all for supporting us and please remember DO NOT TAKE LIFE FOR GRANTED love your family and hug your family