Things are getting so much worse now. I am barely awake most of the time, I don't move much at all through out the day and just leaving my bed to do something like wash up or clean my teeth has been more energy than I have. My sleep is way off but sleeping is really the last thing I want to do because now I worry every night on whether i'm going to wake up. Me and Wendy discuss it more now but we also break down about it more now because i'm just going downhill quite fast and there isn't exactly a bounce back from this. I'm so upset and angry about it but there isn't anything I can do and being upset won't do anything but stress me and make me feel worse. I'm at my lowest weight since the fourth grade and overall i just look horrible. I wish i could say i have a lot of time left but I really feel I don't and if you were very close to me you'd know the real me has already gone away. I'm so sad and I so dearly hate this. Its so hard to even begin to explain how bad this hurts me mentally and emotionally. -----------------from Franks Facebook page today
The smell of chourico has filled the house. The wife is making chourico and cheese baked inside croissant rolls. They are awesome. That will be my que to try and get up out of bed and maybe play some Xbox or something. Its getting so very hard to just move around at all.
A couple weeks ago me and my wife sat and purchased Urns for who my ashes would be going to. My wife found a place that also made Teddy Bears that have a spot in them for ashes to be kept. She loved it so much we decided to order one for her and my sister. This is my sisters bear. They are put together really really well and its a nice stray away from the "usual". The Bear my wife got says "babe" on his little tag.